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Under less insane circumstances, my complexion was decent.As things stood, though, my sparkle or shine were history. My eyes sprung another leak, so I slammed my head back into the softness of the wet Muppet Babies. "I didn't raise no goddamned nun." I had hung a crucifix outside my doorway just after the breakup.Some users post photos of themselves posing with tiger cubs.These seemingly sweet snapshots actually cause quite a bit of harm to these endangered animals.She was not your average level of annoying, I swear to God.My mother was a manicure-obsessed, southern she-devil who lived for drugstore lipstick and drive-through dinners.

I just hoped Mom would think to bury me in my favorite sheets. You need to get up off your ass and wash your stanky self in the shower.I bought the beads because I thought they'd make a sexy belt on a future date with Paul.Of course, that's when I used to care about how I looked.You may or may not find a good connection on Tinder — but finding a way to help animals is always a perfect match.Following the best date ever, I realised that as much fun as I had, I probably shouldn’t settle down with a really hot gay guy, you know?

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When I watched my face contort into sadness, I cried even harder.

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